Blog

Advocate

Pentecost, Year B

Almighty God, on this day you opened the way of eternal life to every race and nation by the promised gift of your Holy Spirit: Shed abroad this gift throughout the world by the preaching of the Gospel, that it may reach to the ends of the earth; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

 

John 15:26-27; 16:4b-15

 

Jesus said to his disciples, ”When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who comes from the Father, he will testify on my behalf. You also are to testify because you have been with me from the beginning.

 

“I did not say these things to you from the beginning, because I was with you. But now I am going to him who sent me; yet none of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ But because I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your hearts. Nevertheless I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. And when he comes, he will prove the world wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment: about sin, because they do not believe in me; about righteousness, because I am going to the Father and you will see me no longer; about judgment, because the ruler of this world has been condemned.

 

“I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, because he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine. For this reason I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you.

 

Faith from the Margins to the Web Contributors: Steven, Lever and Ben

 

Lever opened this bible study in prayer and Steven read the Gospel lesson. It was Ben, the new member of the group, who spoke first:

“It sounds to me, when you read this, that he is bringing security to those around him who might need to be comforted. Like he wanted to stay connected.”

“This Advocate, you know, the Holy Spirit, knows the word of God” said Steven. “And it says that Jesus says, ‘It is to your advantage that I go away.’ That part kind of confuses me. It’s hard to imagine it is an advantage for Jesus to go away and the disciples probably didn’t think so either!”

“Well, maybe it’s like the Holy Trinity, you know: Jesus and the Father and the Holy Spirit are all one” added Ben. “But, the anointing of the Spirit of God is going to make our understanding of God even stronger. It is like people were being blessed MORE when Jesus joined his Father. That’s the comfort”

“It looks to me like the person who has been feeling separated by sin, the Holy Spirit draws us in and that might make us feel even closer to God.” said Steven. “It meant that the Holy Spirit was meant for all people, and to go to all nations.”

“It says to me that he loved humanity so much that he would even die. But death wasn’t the end, and even when Jesus left the earth it wasn’t the end. The Holy Spirit came and that has given us power, and love. That love is what I feel” said Ben. He sat in that realization for a minute, “I’m just thinking about that…all that LOVE. It’s awesome. Wow.”

The group moved back to the idea of the Holy Spirit as Advocate, sharing their stories. Ben shared first, “You know that Advocate: when I have done those things that are wrong, the Holy Spirit works on me and it makes me want to return, and to know that I will be met in love.”

Steven said, “No matter what you’re going through in life, even if you’re going through hard times, he’s still with you regardless. If you have faith, he promises that he’ll never lead you.”

“It’s like God is on our side” said Lever.

I had been sitting off to the side, listening to these three men talk together. But at this point I joined in a bit because this idea of being an advocate is just so meaningful to me.

“I have to share just one thing. You all know I’m a social worker and have been for almost 30 years now!” I confessed, “and now I’m doing this new thing, training to be a priest. But this word, this idea of being an ‘advocate’ is such an important part of what makes me a social worker and a priest. Advocates never do for or take away from. When we advocate, it means that we take somebody’s whole self, and we see them exactly as they are and we stand with them in solidarity. A true advocate never takes over or gets in the way; a true advocate stands with. I think that is the most powerful image I can imagine of Holy Spirit as Advocate for us.”

“That’s right” said Steven, “It’s like the Holy Spirit loves us and stands with us just like we are, in whatever situation we are in.”

“Advocacy asks us to be exactly who we are and meet someone else exactly as they are” I said.

“RIght” said Steven “just like an advocate for the homeless might go with them, or help them but would never criticize them for being homeless..”

“When the Holy Spirit advocates for us with God, it is like we are invited to be known and loved by God in the fullness of our being. That’s what I’m hearing and learning from this group” said Ben.

Lever added, “I was just thinking how blessed I am, every time we do this. The first time I did a bible study I learned something new but now every time I get the chance to do this, I learn even more and bring even more to it. This is really blessing me.”

“It’s awesome” said Ben. “This is the first time I’ve done this but I will do this again.” He looked around, “I love this space, too.”

We were in the small chapel, the oldest part of the parish. I particularly love the chapel windows so I pointed out one of my favorites, of Christ being known in the breaking of the bread. “Look there…that window…it was put in here, in this place of worship in memory of someone born in 1877. Can you imagine what people gathered to worship then would think if they could see us now in 2018, sitting here and having this bible study together. It might shock them quite a bit, actually. But the Holy Spirit was with them then, and inspired them to build these spaces so that other people would see them and see God reflected in them. They were participating in the fullness of God, just as we are now. And who knows who will be seeing and experiencing God here 100 years from now?!”

“The Holy Spirit, that’s who!” said Steven.

With that shared truth we laughed while our hearts were drawn even closer through the never ending work of our Advocate and Comforter who was and is present in our midst.

be known

Walking the Walk

Ascension/Seventh Sunday of Easter, Year B

O God, the King of glory, you have exalted your only Son Jesus Christ with great triumph to your kingdom in heaven: Do not leave us comfortless, but send us your Holy Spirit to strengthen us, and exalt us to that place where our Savior Christ has gone before; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.

John 17:6-19

Jesus prayed for his disciples, “I have made your name known to those whom you gave me from the world. They were yours, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word. Now they know that everything you have given me is from you; for the words that you gave to me I have given to them, and they have received them and know in truth that I came from you; and they have believed that you sent me. I am asking on their behalf; I am not asking on behalf of the world, but on behalf of those whom you gave me, because they are yours. All mine are yours, and yours are mine; and I have been glorified in them. And now I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one. While I was with them, I protected them in your name that you have given me. I guarded them, and not one of them was lost except the one destined to be lost, so that the scripture might be fulfilled. But now I am coming to you, and I speak these things in the world so that they may have my joy made complete in themselves. I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. I am not asking you to take them out of the world, but I ask you to protect them from the evil one. They do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you have sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, so that they also may be sanctified in truth.”

Faith from the Margins to the Web contributors:  Davis and Fay

Fay and Davis, two retired people from very different walks of life, sat in the sunny library getting to know each other and taking turns reading the prayer and Gospel lesson from John for this Seventh Sunday of Easter, the Sunday of the Ascension.

“Holy Father, Protect them in your name…and protect them from the Evil One” said Fay, “that is the part that stands out to me. You know, it makes me think about how on Saturdays and Sundays I go to the park and I help hand out food to people. There can be some evil people, and some people really good people. It doesn’t matter where we are or who we are. There are some of both in the world.”

“The part that stands out to me is hearing Jesus, talking to his Father God…I guess it’s such a strong case of letting the disciples know that he is the Son of God, no question. He’s making sure that they know He is the Son of God. That seems like a strong message, God is the Father and Jesus is the Son” said Davis.

“All mine are yours and all yours are mine” said Fay, “We all belong to God, and to Jesus.”

“In your spiritual life, who do you pray to?” asked Davis

“I think I say Jesus, yes…praying to Jesus is what makes sense to me” said Fay. “But, I’m Catholic, so we pray in the name of all three, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. My mother raised us in the church and then we all kind of drifted away. I miss it though, and I know there really isn’t a reason not to go. I just need to get back to the Church I want to go to.”

“Is there something keeping you?” said Davis.

“Well, I end up going to help people…sometimes its like I’m doing work, helping others but that’s not Church.” said Fay

“Why am I thinking God is smiling hearing you say that!” said Davis, “I mean, maybe God is seeing you helping and hoping that you see that as God’s work, too.”

“Right, I know. But, it’s not the building. I know I also need to put my body in the building” said Fay.

“It makes me think, though, that if Jesus were here he might be the one out there helping people, in the name of God. Maybe the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are happy that you’re helping!” said Davis.

“Well, God is with us even right now” said Fay. “We can’t see him, but God is here!”

“I think maybe he’s in you!” said Davis, “You find yourself thinking about others, more than yourself. You’re giving them some of God, too.”

“I learned that from my mother, too” said Fay. “Going to church and helping others. I used to work at a nursing home, too, but that was where I hurt my back. Now, I’m retired and on disability. So, I have to find other ways to help. I miss the people, though, I liked my nursing home work.”

“It’s kind of a God moment for me” said Davis, “to think of all the people and places where you’ve been helping and showing God’s love. I don’t think many people do the kind of work that you do. It just seems to me that in your life, you walk the walk.”

“I walk it slow with this sciatica!” laughed Fay.

“But, you still walk it” said Davis. “That’s why God sends us into the world.”

This Sunday of the Ascension, we remember that we are the Body of Christ, the hands and feet of Christ in this world. Church is more than a building; it is our engagement with the world and our sustenance in community where we grow together as a community of faith. Both Davis and Fay find those places of Church in their lives of faith, in the stories of scripture, and in each other.

38082346765_1748b8b64c_z

All about the Love

Sixth Sunday of Easter, Year B

O God, you have prepared for those who love you such good things as surpass our understanding: Pour into our hearts such love towards you, that we, loving you in all things and above all things, may obtain your promises, which exceed all that we can desire; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

John 15:9-17

Jesus said to his disciples, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.”

In these weeks of Eastertide, we are using a group bible study format for Faith from the Margins to the Web which rotates facilitators for each week’s Gospel lesson. Each week features highlights from the group gathered that illustrate each week’s Gospel lesson. People who had participated in a previous interview were invited to become the group facilitators, and that core group added new participants for each lesson. 

Group participants for Easter 4, Easter 5, and Easter 6: Willie. Christina, Kaiju, Paul, William, Jamillah, Angela, Leroy and David.

Willie read this Gospel lesson for the group and offered up the first reflection:

“God commands us…we do his word…and we don’t want to do all those things we once used to do, because we feel convicted.  And by that, I don’t mean guilt.  I mean love.  When the Holy Spirit convicts us, it opens us up to abide in love. It isn’t to be convicted to be cast out, it’s being convicted to want to be part of something greater.”

“That’s right” said David, “It’s like going to the club, you want to get in and once you get in you want to stay in…but it isn’t that kind of club…it’s God’s Club and its full of love.”

Kaiju expanded on that, thinking about the images of this Easter season: “Remember, when Jesus was crucified, it was in the middle of two people, a murderer and a thief. Two people nobody loved and nobody trust.  But Jesus not only forgive them, He invited them to paradise, to let them know they were already forgiven. And all they had to do was to hear those words.”

Christina was reminded of her upbringing:  “You know, I grew up in the church, went there my entire life. I was always told you could be on your death bed and still accept Jesus Christ and you’d go to heaven. Now, I know that there are different religions that believe different things and some say you have to be baptized, but that’s always the way I was taught it.”

David was polite but puzzled: “What do you mean by that, stop right there. I mean, that might be true and all, because I’ve heard that too.  But you know, even if that’s true, I mean it’s a growing process, too.”

“Like the prodigal son” said Willie, “I mean, imagine you had someone, a parent who always wanted you to come home. You were out there doing what you pleased until you realized life was about to end and then you come running home.  It isn’t that you aren’t welcome, of course you are.  But it’s that you spent so many years missing out on the relationship, missing out on all that love.”

Paul chimed in:  “Once you get Christ in your heart, you know, he’s going to guide you. It keeps us there, close to God, inside God’s understanding of us. It’s powerful, that love, powerful.  Every day, I read and I study but I still fall short. That is why we need God. God knows everybody’s heart. Everybody in the Bible, they all did wrong sometimes. But God knew them, and loved them, and God loves us in the same way.”

Abide in me…

Fifth Sunday of Easter, Year B

Almighty God, whom truly to know is everlasting life: Grant us so perfectly to know your Son Jesus Christ to be the way, the truth, and the life, that we may steadfastly follow his
steps in the way that leads to eternal life; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

 

John 15:1-8

Jesus said to his disciples, ”I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower. He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit. You have already been cleansed by the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in me is thrown away like a branch and withers; such branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples.”

 

For the next several weeks of Eastertide, we are using a group bible study format for Faith from the Margins to the Web which rotates facilitators for each week’s Gospel. For each of the following weeks in Easter season we will feature highlights from the group gathered that illustrate each week’s Gospel lesson. People who had participated in a previous interview were invited to become the group facilitators, and that core group added new participants for each lesson. We’ll hear the Gospel from the perspective of this group for the next three weeks.

Group participants for Easter 4, Easter 5, and Easter 6: Willie. Christina, Kaiju, Paul, William, Jamillah, Angela, Leroy and David.

 

David started out the group’s conversation “You know what stands out for me…and I mean, I want you all to really feel me, here…this talks about abiding…to abide in me…to study my word. That’s a really powerful word, to abide. I think we need to break that down!”

Kaiju chimed in. “I changed the word ‘abide’ to ‘obedient’ in my mind. Just like the metaphor of the fruit and the vine, be obedient to me…”

The group began to talk about this idea of being obedient, about the rules that we know in our hearts and our stubbornness to follow them sometimes. Even though many times our first thoughts are about “right behavior” or being “cast out” the participants pushed each other to go deeper than that. Eventually, wrestling together, this idea of abiding as relationship started to take on some deeper meaning and importance:

“It’s like God says, if you’re abiding in me, and you’re living with me, you are there because you want to be there so of course you are not cast away! It’s like the Bible says, we have a choice and choosing to stay with God is about choosing to be cared for, and cared about.”

Christine jumped in. “AND, you recognize that the Father is taking care of his children…it’s like when you have kids, when you raise your children, you have rules for them to follow because you know what’s best for them. They might not believe you, but they will someday! They aren’t always happy with the rules and we’re the same way. But we also know that God loves us, and wants what is best for us, and can see things that we cannot.”

More metaphors began to emerge within the group:

“It’s like when you stay with friends, you know, and you’re staying under their roof. You want to stay there…you appreciate it and you know that it isn’t about doing everything you want. Abiding is being obedient, to honor the rules because it helps us be family together. Maybe it isn’t about being ‘cast out’ so much as it is choosing to stay, and if we don’t want to be there we can make a choice to leave. It’s our choice, to stay and to obey.”

Paul agreed. “I like that, yeah, I like that. You know, we don’t want to play God but sometimes we start thinking its a game. It’s not. It’s just what we do when we’re family, we take care of each other.”

David picked the verse back up again. “I’m looking at this part, the part that says, ‘every vine bears fruit’ and that idea of the vine, being that thing that is there to feed us and to help us grow. It’s a living thing, you know, feeding us.”

Christine nodded. “Yeah, if you’re not connected to the vine, you think you can do it all on your own. That’s tempting for a minute, but then you realize it’s a mistake. Pretty soon, you realize that you are cut off, you aren’t receiving, you aren’t being fed.”

The group talked about that feeding: David summarized, “Its what happens when we don’t go to church, or we just start thinking about having to go on Easter or Christmas or whatever. We’re getting hungry, we’re craving what God gives us and we don’t realize it. That vine, that church family, it feeds us just like the scripture feeds us.”

Jamillah added, “You know, I’m one of those people where it takes some time for me. I hear the scripture and I have to take it in. I have to let it live in me, to think about it, to really let it get into my soul before it breaks open. I think about that and the vine, how when we are connected to God and connected to the church we are being fed and cared for, we are letting it all sink in to our lives.

David summed up this scripture and their conversation: “So, it comes back to that idea of abiding…of growing together, like the vine and the branches. We grow in God, we are fed on the Word and we abide together.”

Shepherds

Fourth Sunday of Easter, Year B

O God, whose Son Jesus is the good shepherd of your people; Grant that when we hear his voice we may know him who calls us each by name, and follow where he leads; who, with you and the Holy Spirit, lives and reigns, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

John 10:11-18

Jesus said, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand, who is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away—and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. The hired hand runs away because a hired hand does not care for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life in order to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it up again. I have received this command from my Father.”

For the next several weeks of Eastertide, we are using a group bible study format for Faith from the Margins to the Web which rotates facilitators for each week’s Gospel.  For each of the following weeks in Easter season we will feature highlights from the group gathered that illustrate each week’s Gospel lesson. People who had participated in a previous interview were invited to become the group facilitators, and that core group added new participants for each lesson.  We’ll hear the Gospel from the perspective of this group for the next three weeks.

Group participants for Easter 4, Easter 5, and Easter 6: Willie. Christina, Kaiju, Paul, William, Jamillah, Angela, Leroy and David.  
The group began to talk together about this Gospel lesson of Jesus, the Good Shepherd:

“Jesus says he’s the Good Shepherd; that’s like doing everything for us.  I’m thinking about what a shepherd might look like now: I’m thinking leadership, guidance, the way that someone needs to lead the flock.”

“Shepherds are there, the good times and the bad times…you know, the flock doesn’t always do what they are supposed to do, but the shepherd doesn’t leave them.”

“Some people have problems because they can’t see God, or touch God.  But, I wonder if the sheep really know the shepherd is there until something happens.  Then he’s right there, pulling them out of danger. And you know, we don’t want to have faith if we can’t see it.  But I believe that we have someone there, when we could have been lost or under the dirt. I think when you’ve done that you know how important a shepherd is.”

“I’ve been pretty fortunate.  I look at the kids these days that feel like they have to work and to go to school.  I was lucky; my brother played professional basketball and he paid for me, paid my way to college.  I think of him as a good shepherd”

“And I think of my Dad as a good shepherd.  He had rules and was strict, but it was always for a reason and to protect us.  I appreciate that now. He was a good man. I lost him back in ‘97, but I still hear his voice, his words.  I try to be that way now, too, with my own children”

“You know, I think it’s about looking out for others; shepherds see a need.  Like today, I just saw someone who needed help with his lunch tray. Maybe if I wasn’t looking or paying attention I would have just walked on by.  But something told me to keep an eye out, and I was able to help him.”

“I’m thinking in these stories that we’re sharing, it seems like we are learning how to take care of the flock from other people who have shepherded us.  Maybe it’s like that with Jesus, too. If Jesus loves us enough to give his life for us, it teaches us how to live into that love and look out for other people.  When we do that, other people notice and we realize how much others have looked out for us. It’s like these stories are here to remind us how to shepherd each other, like our Good Shepherd.  We’re like shepherds to each other.”

shepherd1

Still in the room

Third Sunday of Easter, Year B

O God, whose blessed Son made himself known to his disciples in the breaking of bread: Open the eyes of our faith, that we may behold him in all his redeeming work; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Luke 24:36b-48

Jesus himself stood among the disciples and said to them, “Peace be with you.” They were startled and terrified, and thought that they were seeing a ghost. He said to them, “Why are you frightened, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? Look at my hands and my feet; see that it is I myself. Touch me and see; for a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” And when he had said this, he showed them his hands and his feet. While in their joy they were disbelieving and still wondering, he said to them, “Have you anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate in their presence.

Then he said to them, “These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you—that everything written about me in the law of Moses, the prophets, and the psalms must be fulfilled.” Then he opened their minds to understand the scriptures, and he said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Messiah is to suffer and to rise from the dead on the third day, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins is to be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things.

Faith from the Margins to the Web authors:  Ruth and Jamillah

As they sat in the chapel reading scripture and talking together, Ruth and Jamillah suddenly found themselves in the midst of an unexpected serenade of organ music.  At first, their voices sounded quiet and small, almost overpowered by a large, majestic pipe organ. But, over the course of the interview these two gentle souls having heartfelt conversation filled the room with hopefulness and love.  Here is a brief but beautiful glimpse at how Christ’s presence was made known to them and by their witness, to us:

Ruth started off the conversation: “What really struck me were the words, where Jesus says, ‘Peace’ and the disciples were ‘startled’ and ‘terrified.’  Then, Jesus’ solution is to say, ‘here I am, touch me. If you want to know its me, just reach out. For me, I heard once that the phrase used the most is “Be Not Afraid” so like, when angels would come, they would first say, “Do Not Be Afraid.”  Because, you know, having something happen be so out of the norm, it scares us! And, having somebody bear the message of God, it scares us, too. And so, here, Jesus even scared his disciples! That makes me want to open a little more to fear, to not be so afraid of fear.  Because if I’m going to feel fear when something unexpected happens, when Jesus walks into the room or I notice Him here, well then maybe fear isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe it’s just a sign in my own body that says, ‘pay attention!’”

“Yeah, that’s true” said Jamillah, “I used to think backwards.  Well, maybe not backwards, but l think sometimes I get scared when a message comes to me.  Even though God is God, even though God is Creator of all things, God came up with all these words for us.  Sometimes we follow the scriptures and they are so real. God is so….well… God! But the words are so real, so right now that sometimes they scare me because I think: how could God’s word be speaking so much to me.”

“I like what you’re saying” said Ruth.  “it’s like when he says, ‘look at my hands, touch me!’  I mean, if we are human and we are spiritual creatures then our job is to know who God is to us.  Like, when I hear you talking, you are telling me who God is to you, who God has been to you. And because you reached out, you looked at Him, you touched Him…and that is what Jesus asked us to do!  At different points in my life, when I see something or when I touch something I learn something different each time because I’m always seeing with different eyes, or feeling with different hands. I’ve been through different things now so I see things differently, or I feel things differently.  It isn’t like God is one big thing that we can know, because we are changing all the time, so the way we understand God changes all the time, too.”

“I also learned that Easter means not just the rising again, but about being seen” said Jamillah.  

Ruth offered a thoughtful example.  “I think about my own parents. As I grew up, I learned more about them: what happened to them as kids, what their lives have been as adults.  I’m still learning about my own parents, still finding out new aspects of who they are. They’re still with us, thank God, so I get to keep knowing them more.  So, if I can’t even know everything about my own parents, how on earth would I expect to know everything about God! I think God is always that open to us, but we have to be that open to God.  I mean, my Mom has all this information I could know, but if I don’t call her up, or ask her questions then how would I come to know all that about her? It’s the same way with God, I think. I have to bring myself back to be open to God.”

Jamillah was thoughtful: “I’ve seen God in my life because there have been times when I couldn’t get out of where I was without God finding me.  I’ve been homeless, I’ve been needing money just to be able to see the doctor or pay my medical bills. I’ve been in situations where I didn’t have the resources to get out on my own.  But, then I have realized I was connected to Him, I realize the bond that I have with God. Like I said, I can’t always speak elegantly with the verses like some people. But, I do know how to read the scriptures, to feel the bond with God, to realize that He is active in my life and that He sees me as a believer.”

“Nice!” said Ruth.  “You said that you don’t have elegant words, but you have your story!  I mean here, in this story, it’s that point where Jesus says, ‘I’m hungry, do you have something to eat?’ and all that fear, terror it all goes away because they sit down together.  I mean, that’s your story. It’s one of the most powerful ways to see the presence of God. The truth is in the living.”

“Some people can preach the word, but don’t live it” said Jamillah.  

“You know, sometimes I think that my biggest fears are scripture and prayer, like you said earlier” added Ruth.  “What’s frightening isn’t that I won’t find God there but that I will have that encounter, that I will hear and see God and have to confront what I know I’m supposed to do but that I don’t feel ready for.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re thinking you’re afraid of the scriptures or God” said Jamillah, “but sometimes when you’re trying to do your own thing, that’s when God makes you realize you are really doing God’s thing.  It says here, that so many people back then and now were disbelievers, but God is a truth teller. Other people need to hear that, so they believe. They need to know that they can hear the scripture for themselves, that God is real and present.”

Ruth added, “…and Jesus says, ‘why are you afraid?’ so when I feel fear, I have to wonder, am I actually taking  time to see Jesus in the room with me? Or am I just feeling my fear? I guess it means to me that I have to look for God, to recognize God’s presence in my fear, to know that I have a chance to open up and listen and let go of my fears when I pay attention that God is there.  Even when I feel my fear, He’s still in the room with me just like Jesus is still right there with the disciples, doubting and fearful. They can just reach out and touch, to allow their minds to be opened.”

“You know, that’s true” said Jamillah, “I was thinking about that part where he opened their minds.  I mean, usually, when there is a bible study you are told what it means, what you should believe. But today, here, we had a chance to open our minds.  I felt that today: my mind opened, I was able to see what Jesus did, that he gave the words to the disciples that were the evidence of God. There are so many different meanings that have come to me today.  I feel like, you know, this is the first time I ever really read a scripture and understood it like this, the way that we shared it together.”

“I agree.  These stories are about real people, and we are real people.  I think it takes the realness of life to understand it.” said Ruth.

Seeing and Believing

Second Sunday of Easter, Year B

Almighty and everlasting God, who in the Paschal mystery established the new covenant of reconciliation: Grant that all who have been reborn into the fellowship of Christ’s Body may show forth in their lives what they profess by their faith; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

 

John 20:19-31


When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

 

Faith from the Margins to the Web Authors:  Steven and Harrison

 

Steven and Harrison are both men of great faith, who met each other the first time for this bible study.  Their conversation unfolded deeply and beautifully, even from this first meeting.

Steven began “What I really see the most out of this is the amount of disbelief, between both the disciples and the Jews, because he says the disciples had locked the doors in fear of the Jews, it says.  But Jesus comes and says, ‘Peace be with you’ and he meant that message for everyone…the disciples and the Jews…because he wanted peace.”

“I never really thought of that!” said Harrison, “the locked door, and the fear it represents.  That’s really neat. I’m struck by that word ‘peace,’ which is what Jesus says. It is the first word he greets people with after the resurrection.  The way you mention: fear, behind locked doors. Peace was probably the most important thing for them to feel and to believe.”

Steven and Harrison talked about the scripture…the way in which Jesus showed his hands and his side to help their belief.  But Thomas, not there during that first meeting, couldn’t quite fathom the belief that other disciples showed.

“Thomas wanted to verify it for himself” said Harrison.

“The other disciple tells him, ‘We have seen the Lord,’ but Thomas hadn’t seen for himself” noted Steven, thoughtfully. “But he said to them, unless I see the mark and feel the nails, I won’t believe.  That’s Thomas saying, ‘I need to have the experience you had so that I can believe!’ ”

“They probably did believe, before he died” said Harrison, “that didn’t fit into the idea of who the Messiah was.  But when they saw him, it was like their belief was resurrected. We hear Thomas doubting, but really, they all shared in that doubt.  It raises an interesting question to me: you know, you can think you believe something, but then when things don’t materialize the way that you expect them to, your belief crumbles apart.  Something doesn’t work out the way I expect God would have it turn out, and that shakes my belief.”

“Sometimes bad things happen for good, but it’s hard to hold onto that” said Steven.

Harrison replied, “But, when you do see God show up at the very end, faithful and true, even when the very bad things happen, then your faith is a little stronger.” 

When it came to discussing how this Gospel related to their own lives, Steven and Harrison both had poignant answers.

Steven described how it was for him:  “I have faith, even though I’m not really sure God is going to answer my prayers.  I think, God may have something in store for me. There are many times that my faith was shaken, that all the doors closed.  But then, God would lead me out, show me a circumstance, show me a way out that I couldn’t see before.”

Harrison related the most difficult time in his own life, when his son was tragically killed in a car accident.  “I had just finished watching a movie where the message was about someone who was sending his family a message that he was OK with dying.  Then, this phone call comes. And I thought, ‘God, how could you send me a message like that, but not stop the accident?” My life has been a lot of wrestling like that.”

“You know” said Steven, “I think our whole lives are going to be about questioning God.  I learned that you can question God, and talk with God, and still believe. Maybe sometimes God has to show Himself.”

“I wonder if Jesus came that second time, just to see Thomas, just to show himself because he knew that Thomas needed that in order to believe” said Harrison.  

Steven said, “You know, it reminds me.  Sometimes you have to look around and see your life, see the way God is working in your life.  If we don’t open our eyes to it, we can’t see. Then, when we open our eyes, we see how God is working.”

“I wonder, Steven, what does faith add to your life?” asked Harrison.

“Faith adds comfort, hope, resilience, and truth” said Steven, with thoughtful intention.

“For me, it’s that something wakes up in me because of faith” said Harrison.  “It means that whatever it costs it will be worth it to do the right thing, the loving thing, the honest thing.”

Resurrection

Easter, Year B

Almighty God, who through your only-begotten Son Jesus Christ overcame death and opened to us the gate of everlasting life: Grant that we, who celebrate with joy the day of the Lord’s resurrection, may be raised from the death of sin by your life-giving Spirit; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

John 20:1-18

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the tomb. So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.” Then Peter and the other disciple set out and went toward the tomb. The two were running together, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent down to look in and saw the linen wrappings lying there, but he did not go in. Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb. He saw the linen wrappings lying there, and the cloth that had been on Jesus’ head, not lying with the linen wrappings but rolled up in a place by itself. Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; for as yet they did not understand the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. Then the disciples returned to their homes.

But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had been lying, one at the head and the other at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni!” (which means Teacher). Jesus said to her, “Do not hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”; and she told them that he had said these things to her.

Listen as our Faith from the Margins to the Web Authors David and MaryAnn read the opening prayer together:

As soon as they finished reading the Gospel lesson, David immediately looked up and said, “Wow!  That’s powerful.  Mary understood immediately that Jesus had risen.  But it took other people time to figure out what was happening.  She knew, she must have. She says: ‘I have seen the Lord!’ ”

MaryAnn had noticed that, too.  “That is really interesting. Another thing that stood out to me when I heard you read it was all the people who were reacting in different ways.  That part about the two disciples running together, trying to get there first caught my attention. They are both running, and when the one disciple gets there he just begins to peek in.  But, Simon Peter goes barging right on in! Then, once Peter was in, the other disciple went in too. But they didn’t see Jesus…they just saw the empty tomb. And they went home and didn’t tell anybody.  But Jesus, He only appeared to Mary Magdalene, and she is the one who told people. She was there to mourn, she was weeping. And it was when she was weeping that Jesus appeared to her. He said her name, and that was when she knew it was him.  I thought it was interesting that the male disciples weren’t the ones to tell everyone. It was Mary who spread the word, who told people she had seen the Lord.”

“You know, I think they knew something had happened but the question was, WHAT had happened.  They didn’t know he’d been resurrected or…how did they say it back in the day…that he was the messiah.”  said David. “They were just like, ‘Wow, something has happened here…”

MaryAnn found this reassuring.  “The disciples lived with him every day, and they still didn’t understand,” she said.  So, if we don’t understand or we don’t know exactly what God wants us to do, we’re not alone…we’re actually in good company”  said Mary Ann. “Reading this has also given me a whole, new appreciation for Mary Magdalene and her recognizing and telling people what she had seen.  Jesus spoke to her, and she obviously wanted to touch him even though he wouldn’t allow her to do that.”

“Oh yeah, that’s the ‘hadn’t ascended yet’ part” said David. “I never knew what that meant before.”

“Right” said MaryAnn.  “And I mean, this was really something.  Women weren’t well regarded and yet, Jesus appeared to Mary Magdalene and told her to spread the word.”

David said,  “I think this reminds me that we need to know that God is there; that we have to believe it and not second guess it.  Then, that makes it real to us.”

Mary Ann acknowledged the resurrection has always been a mystery.  “What do you think it means in our lives, to be resurrected?”

David thought about this for a while.  “It’s pretty clear to me that being reborn is like when we’re baptized, when we are forgiven.  We get a new life, and we live differently, or we try to. I don’t have that…what do you call it…that community when I’m just with other people.  But with church, in God, we actually love each other in Christ. Seeing someone and saying,  “I love you, brother” you know, that doesn’t happen everywhere.  It sure doesn’t happen on the streets. Some evil happens there, that’s for sure.  But not always a lot of love. That’s a resurrection.”

Mary Ann thought about the question, too. “For me, retirement kind of feels like resurrection.  I used to work all the time. Now, I’m able to be reborn into myself; I can make decisions for myself instead of my job making decisions for me.  I feel like I’ve been able to live fully into who I am now.”

This was true in David’s life, too.  “There’s a lot of joy in me now. I mean, we don’t always have everything we need.  But in the church, people do help each other and help us do what we want to do. The Church is a place for resurrection, a place to get a second chance.”

As we celebrate the joy of this Easter season, where is resurrection in your own life?  

 

I wonder…

Palm Sunday, Year B

Almighty and everliving God, in your tender love for the human race you sent your Son our Savior Jesus Christ to take upon him our nature, and to suffer death upon the cross, giving us the example of his great humility: Mercifully grant that we may walk in the way of his suffering, and also share in his resurrection; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Mark 11:1-11

When they were approaching Jerusalem, at Bethphage and Bethany, near the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two of his disciples and said to them, “Go into the village ahead of you, and immediately as you enter it, you will find tied there a colt that has never been ridden; untie it and bring it. If anyone says to you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ just say this, ‘The Lord needs it and will send it back here immediately.’” They went away and found a colt tied near a door, outside in the street. As they were untying it, some of the bystanders said to them, “What are you doing, untying the colt?” They told them what Jesus had said; and they allowed them to take it. Then they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it; and he sat on it. Many people spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut in the fields. Then those who went ahead and those who followed were shouting,

“Hosanna!
Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord!
Blessed is the coming kingdom of our ancestor David!
Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

Then he entered Jerusalem and went into the temple; and when he had looked around at everything, as it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the twelve.

 

Faith from the Margins to the Web Contributors: MaryAnn and Kayu

Conversation came easily to MaryAnn and Kayu, even though they had never met until that afternoon of our Faith from the Margins bible study.  They had chatted together and solved many of the problems of the world before the tape recorder was even turned on.  But after they began taking turns reading this Palm Sunday narrative began to hone in on this idea of “obedience” as it emerged in the Gospel lesson.

Kayu shared what stood out to him. “I have to come back to that word, obedience. It wasn’t easy to be obedient. It look a lot. Coming from Japan, for the first 18 months I was fighting every day because its what I had to do. But once I started becoming obedient, I learned not to fight back. They had seen me fight, but there comes a point in time when you have to let it go; when you have to let that control go to God. Where would it have gotten me in life to stubbornly keep that control? It would have made me a not very nice person. A fighter, street person, always in jail: anything could have happened. Then, at some point, when I stopped fighting that’s when people got curious.”

“So it really took a different kind of strength to stand than it did to fight.” said MaryAnn

Kayu agreed: “Yes, spiritual strength.”

“I’m not a physical fighter” said MaryAnn, “but I fight a lot with the way mentally I want things to be. I can wish that life was different, or that someone else hadn’t done something. I can fight verbally sometimes and that same lesson applies: we can choose to just stand.”

“I had a good teacher!” noted Kayu.

MaryAnn chuckled.  “I was just going to ask how you learned that!”

Kayu share his story. “It was my Grand-father. He was a musician, and the first African-American allowed to walk into the white house to play a private concert. It was for Theodore Roosevelt. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame and he was a great man, but his words were always, “No matter how big or how small, you need to make a mark in life. If you can touch one, it makes up for the thousand. I decided that was what I wanted to do. I started fighting for homeless people in 1992. I asked God: what can I do? What kind of mark can I make on this earth? And that is what God told me.”

Mary Ann was genuinely curious: “But, how did you do that? I mean, what was it like to hear God?”

“Well, it was easier than you think.” said Kayu.  “I was praying…I had just come home from the war. And one day, I went walking and I was just struck by seeing so many homeless people in parks, on the streets. I thought, “This is not what I fought for; this is not what I should be coming home to.” I realized that I had to do something about this; I didn’t almost die for a country where people were homeless and dying and other people could look at the window and see it and not do anything. I’m a Marine…we are supposed to do things that help make a path for change. And to do that and come here and think: what are we doing? Why are we, in this country, having people who are homeless and who have skills and degrees. I said to God, “I’m a nobody, what can I do?” and God said, “Just do.” I had to obey and as I did, the ways I could make changes become clear to me. It is about knowing your calling, and also being willing to do it. There are both in today’s story. People need to hear: don’t try to do it on your own. Listen to God. God will tell you what you need to do.”

MaryAnn built on this, “Wonderful answers come through prayer. If I’m praying consistently about something, it isn’t that the situation changes but I change.”

“And that DOES change the situation” said Kayu.

MaryAnn echoed that: “Right, exactly! That is the way that God can be working, changing us which makes us and the situation change.”

The final sharing about this Gospel came through an exercise in which they were asked to share “I wonder” sentences about the reading from perspective of any of the characters in this Gospel lesson.  MayAnn and Kayu both entered deeply into this exercise and took turns in a free flow exchange of questions and thoughts:

“I wonder if Jesus knew that the disciples would obey him?”

“I wonder what the people who were watching were thinking?”

“I wonder what the disciples thought Jesus was going to do with the colt.”

“I wonder why the people who say this guy coming in on a colt decided to shout Hosanna?:

“I wonder why they decided to lay down the palm leaves when they really didn’t know who he was?”

“And, I wonder if the Colt thought, “Why does this man want me? Is it because no one has ever ridden on me? Is it because I’m pure of heart?”

“I wonder what the rest of the Colt’s life was like? After that day, all those palm branches and all of those crowds…what happened after that?”

“I wonder how Jesus knew just where the colt was?”

“I wonder why they allowed the disciples to take the colt?”

“I wonder if they actually knew who Jesus was?”

“I wonder if people had the sense that there was something different about this event, this day, this person.”

Kayu became reflective as they shared this exercise of wondering.  “You know, when I did this, I put myself right back there. What would I have done, if I really didn’t know Jesus as Lord, but the man Jesus came up to me and asked me to do this. I wonder if I would have been so obedient?”

Mary Ann nodded, “Yes, I wonder: what made them obedient?  What compelled them to listen?

“Faith like a mustard seed.” said Kayu. “God moves our hearts, but we have to move our feet and follow.”

 

Thank you, Kayu and Mary Ann, for sharing your stories and your wonder with us.  I wonder, after reading this reflection, where God is moving our heart to see new opportunities to serve, and moving our feet to follow?

 

 

The Time is Now

Fifth Sunday in Lent, Year B

Almighty God, you alone can bring into order the unruly wills and affections of sinners: Grant your people grace to love what you command and desire what you promise; that, among the swift and varied changes of the world, our hearts may surely there be fixed where true joys are to be found; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

 

John 12:20-33

 

Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also. Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.

 

“Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.” The crowd standing there heard it and said that it was thunder. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not for mine. Now is the judgment of this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out. And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” He said this to indicate the kind of death he was to die.

 

Faith from the Margins to the Web Contributors:  Sarah and M

Sometimes, unexpected things happen when we’re scheduling interviews for Faith from the Margins to the Web.  On the day we recorded this interview, one of the scheduled participants pulled me aside and said, “I have a friend with me today, and I think he needs to participate.  Do you have room?” Well, as these things go, I made room. Given the short notice, M and I met together for this bible study. It was clear from the first few minutes that God was in the serendipity of our unexpected interview together on this Gospel text.

I prayed to open our conversation, and M read the Gospel lesson.  

M jumped right in.  “First and foremost, I just really heard the prayer itself.  That was just for me, exactly.  I know everything is done through faith…and my faith has been tested.  It’s being tested right now, in fact. I may not be where I need to be in life, but I’m also no longer in a place where I shouldn’t be.  I feel like God has me right where I need to be, right where God can work on me, so I can get where I need to be.

“When you were reading, I heard some loud and clear: ‘The hour has come.’  Jesus wasn’t just talking generally about what might happen, or even what would happen at some point.  He was saying, ‘look, listen…the time is now…it’s happening right now.’  I know that this Gospel is right before Jesus’ final entry into Jerusalem; right before his crucifixion.  It isn’t that he is walking away from it or pretend it’s anything other than what it will be: filled with glory, and with pain.  It’s all unfolding, and all happening. I could hear that urgency when you were reading it. When Jesus tells , ‘It’s now!’ that really resonates with me.  We can’t wait…it’s time, right here and right now to live out this call on our lives.

“It’s real, for real” said M.  “I don’t know how to say this but, for some reason, I know somewhere in the Bible there is that story of Job.  He was going through everything, everyone told him to turn around and to curse God. I remember my Grandmother telling me that story, that he had every reason to turn around and to curse God.  But, he didn’t. I kind of see myself like Job right now. I take two steps forward, and I get pulled 20 steps back. But when I think of that in the right now, it is about moving forward and seeing that God has a place for me now.  It’s kind of weird because I came from a religious background. My Grandmother…she was Baptist…a Mother of the Church. And because of that upbringing, she instilled in me that deep love of God, people see that in me. I’d like to say that’s for good but people also take advantage of that because I do live from my heart.  I start to think sometimes, maybe I should have been less like that, maybe if I was harder on the outside then I would have fared better. But I give from my heart, and sometimes I lose. And then God works on me, and I learn.”

I was moved by his authenticity. “You know, there’s a beauty in that.  There’s this phrase that we use in The Episcopal Church, ‘The Communion of Saints’ and we don’t mean just the big saints everyone thinks about, but also the saints of our lives, the Mothers and Fathers of the Church, the people who have shaped us and continue to guide us through their lives with their examples.  These are the people we learn to be Christ-like from. Whether they are here with us, or whether they have gone beyond, they are part of a community that helps to guide our steps. That whole concept of having a community of patriarchs and matriarchs…that helps me. I can’t do it on my own. But those people that have helped raise me…whether its my great Aunt, or my Grandma…”

This idea resonated with him, “Yes, that’s it!  That is how it is with me.  I feel like I made the wrong choices and paid the prices that came with that.  But, I would think about those lessons that I was raised on and know that God was there.  I’ve got my rights back, got my voting rights. I could be tempted to find someone else to blame or see the system as unfair and some of that has some real merit.  But, at the end of the day, I ended up where I was from getting pulled into the choices I made that didn’t listen to how I had been raised, or what I knew in my heart I should do.  But, I was never alone or abandoned. And now I’m here, and I realize that all my climbing and trying to pull myself out alone isn’t going to do it.”

“I think you’re right.” I added. “At some point, we realize that we can’t do it alone.   It’s hard, because we are made to feel in this world like we have to do it on our own.  We’re trying to climb and climb…but there are people to help us.”

M continued his story, “You know, I got sick and tired of falling into the same pattern again and again.  I could get so far on my own, and then I would just fall back. And now, because I’ve stopped doing that process, I can see it differently.  It’s crazy…it was a woman, same first name as you…she came into the City Jail. She looked sweet and kind but then she would just call it as it was.  I needed that honesty.  It helped me see I needed help, support, recovery. I began to realize I was hiding from myself. I remember going back into the church again after being locked up.  I thought the walls might fall down, but they didn’t. I remember going in, and feeling like I couldn’t be worthy enough and then just feeling, like this verse here, ‘Now, my soul is troubled!’ but then I realized it was God who wanted to work on me, that I could just go on my own and do the same things again and again and again.  I needed help, I needed to be able to not be just a birth date and a death date but to live that life in between.”

This reminded me of a more authentic version of a popular meme. “There’s this saying going around, you might have hear it: “Live Your Dash.”  They mean getting perspective and living out those years between our birth and death dates.  But maybe here it’s more like God reminding us that our lives don’t just start and finish with God, but that God is with us all along that journey if we can open ourselves to realizing that God’s call on our lives is not something that was, or that will be…but that it is right now.”

M related to this, “Yeah, that’s right.  Like my kids. I haven’t been able to be there for them for a lot of years now but we have each other now and I want to do right by that.  My son is 15 now, and he’s smart as a whip. But it’s a tough age and he’s starting to see that everyone isn’t up to the same good, that maybe it isn’t always so good to hang with your friends instead of spending time with your family.  Now is the time that he and I can connect; we NEED to connect. Whether he wants to or not!”

I empathized, “Oh, I have a 14 year old…I can relate!”

We both laughed

He continued with his story: “I think about it, you know, I sit him down and tell him my truth.  I don’t want to pretend that I’m something I’m not. My father instilled in me what to avoid but like that Prodigal Son, I went left field my own way.  Now I’m home, and I have a chance to celebrate but that means doing it the right way, not just setting down the law or telling him what to do, but telling him my heart, that God loves him and I love him.  It isn’t that we’re here to suffer, it’s that we’re here to love each other. I had to learn that from other people in order for it to sink in that it’s that lesson that Church is all about. I mean, when I go to church there are times when I haven’t told anyone my business, and no one even knows me.  But something that we read, or in the Word being preached it’s like it’s just to me, right there, just for me. So, I think: God, ok. Yeah, I’m here. I heard that!”

This made me realize how I’m beginning to see this movement of God through an entirely different lens: “I have to tell you, it’s the same way on the other side, too.  Now that I’m the one who is preaching, I never know why it is that something comes to me, and sticks with me, and just won’t leave me alone.  I have no idea who or why, but I have come to believe that there is something in there that someone needs to hear.  It isn’t always for me to know who are why. It is God working through us.  But as you were talking I thought:  this is why we’re community; this is why we’re the Church.  We need each other. I was just thinking from the Gospel lesson again, “The time is now…” and sometimes I think we’re spinning our wheels, getting restless waiting to figure out when the time will be.  But, the time is now.”

“You know, I thought of that this week” said M, “with those kids in Florida.  They didn’t wait to ask, “when will things change?” They marched to the capital and said, “The time is now!”  And maybe, that’s a bit of what God does with us, and God is doing with me: ‘OK, M….the time is now!” and then he sends people my way, like my friend T who invited me here today.  I hadn’t seen him for a long time, then we ran into each other this morning. We sat and talked, and he said, “what are you doing today?” and I said, “nothin…’ and he said, ‘no, that’s not right…you’re coming with me!’  And then, we were here and having lunch and he said, “What are you doing after lunch?” and I said, “nothin…” and he said, “no, that’s not right…there’s something else for you…” and he went and talked to you, and here I am.  And this is exactly where I needed to be, and what I needed to talk through with you today. The time is now. We do need each other. God knows that.”